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初中英语笑话翻译

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:134评论:0


导读:
1、

Englishman
  Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water. Every few minutes the Englishmen would come out of his room and repeat his request. After a half-hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water. "Nothing," the Englishman answered imperturbably, "It’s simply that my room is on fire."

一个英国人
   一天晚上,一个英国人从他住的旅店房间里走出来。来到走廊上,叫旅店的服务员给他拿一杯水来。服务员按他的要求做了。英国人回到了他的房间里,几分钟后 他又来到走廊上,让服务员再给他送一杯水。服务员又给他送了一杯水。每隔几分钟。英国人就走出房间重复他的要求。 半小时之后.这位感到惊讶的服务员决定问问房客要这些水干什么,英国人不谎不忙地回答:”没什么.只不过是我的房间里起火了。“

NOTE
corridor 走廊
re-entered re-是前缀,表示又一次
imperturbably 泰然地


2、

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I‘m going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter‘s wedding. He‘ll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I‘m the groom."

大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道,“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”,警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱,直到长官回来。“但是,警察,我……”。“我说过了保持安静,你要到监狱了。”几小时后,警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好,因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。”“你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。


3、

The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情,因为每逢周末的探访日,大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访,但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一个探访日,典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说:“乔治,我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上:“告诉我,你没有任何朋友或家人吗?”

乔治回答:“喔!当然有,典狱长,只不过他们全都在这里面!”


4、我曾参加过一个员工管理培训课程,我们班上基本上都是成年人和一些半工半读的学生。一天晚上我们在课上讨论工作丰富化的问题……My personnel-management class consisted mainly of adult, working students. One night while discussing job enrichment, the teacher asked if any of us would be happy doing what we did that day for the rest of our lives. A student in the back raised his hand. Surprised, the teacher asked him, "What did you do today?" Smiling, he said, "I took off from work."我曾参加过一个员工管理培训课程,我们班上基本上都是成年人和一些半工半读的学生。一天晚上我们在课上讨论工作丰富化的问题。我们的老师问我们当中有没有人愿意一辈子做今天所做的事情。坐在教室最后面的一个学生举起了手。老师觉得很惊奇,于是问那个学生,“你今天做什么来着?”,学生笑着回答,“我今天请假了”。这篇材料你能听出多少?点击这里做听写,提高外语水平>>
5、

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you‘re stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you‘re stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma‘am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

一个老师在对学生们讲心理学,“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗,小约翰尼?”老师问。
“不是的,老师,我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”


6、

The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You‘ll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "  
Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don‘t tell me she hasn‘t received them yet!"

我所工作的精品商店是从二十年代以来就营业的。最近我接到一个妇女的电话。她想换一套餐具中的一些椅子。这套餐具她是在三十年代从我们这儿买的。我向她保证说我们可以帮忙并向部门经理提了出来。“你永远也不会相信,”我对他说,“我刚接到一个顾客的电话,她在三十年代从我们这里买了一些椅子。” 我还没来得及说她的要求,经理就打断了我的话:“不要告诉我她到现在还没收到货!”


7、

An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:‘ How much this stuff?‘
‘Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.‘
The lady said, ‘It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.‘
‘I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.‘
‘It is still too much,‘ replied the old lady, ‘give it to me for five.‘

一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员:“这东西要多少钱?”
“七美元,太太,这是很便宜的。”
老太太说:“太贵了,十四美元差不多。”
店员忙说:“我没说十七美元,是七美元。”
“还是太贵,”老太太说:“五美元,我就买啦。”  


8、

The Looney Bin
  Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"
  The first inmate said, "God told me!"
  Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

  疯人院
  一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:“我是拿破仑!”另一个说:“你怎么知道?”第一个人说:“上帝对我说的!”一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:“我没说!”

  Notes:
  (1)Looney (俚语)疯子
  (2)inmate (n.同住者, 同室者(特指在医院、监狱))
  (3)insane asylum (疯人院)


9、

The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情,因为每逢周末的探访日,大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访,但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一个探访日,典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说:“乔治,我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上:“告诉我,你没有任何朋友或家人吗?”

乔治回答:“喔!当然有,典狱长,只不过他们全都在这里面!”


10、

Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?" I teased.

"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"

我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生,开学几个星期之后,我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话,“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时,他的房间凌乱不堪,我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来,是吧?”我取笑他。

“开什么玩笑?”,他回答说,“要不我凭什么费神打扫?”


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