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英语笑话对话翻译

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:32评论:0


导读:
1、

The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch(故障) arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron(赞助人,主顾) was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub(涂抹,涂料) of brilliant red.What‘s this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That‘s it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They‘re all drowned.

一天,有人请这位伟大的画家画一幅法老王渡红海图。这幅画刚开始不久,酬金就出现了问题。霍迪斯发现,完成这幅画后,他只能得到他想要的大约一半的钱。当作品完成之后,那位主顾被请来看画。其实,这幅画不过是胡乱涂抹的一片鲜红。这是什么?那位买主喊了起来。我要的是红海,是那次著名的航海。这就是,霍迦斯回答说。可是以色列人在哪儿?他们都已经渡过去了。埃及人在哪儿?他们全都淹死了。


2、

At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater(母校,校歌) . One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal.

I sure was! answered the host. He‘s the biggest jerk I‘ve ever met. Did you know him too?

Sort of, replied the guest. My mother married him last Saturday.

在朋友家的一次宴会上,主人提起一位高中时的校友。一位客人问他读书期间,某位副校长是否也在职。

当然了,主人答道。他是我见过的最大的混蛋。你也认识他吗?

有点认识,客人回答。我妈妈上周六嫁给了他。


3、

Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I‘d passed today‘s exam."
"Don‘t trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.
"Then I do hope I‘ll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。”
“不要相信梦,亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。
“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。


4、

   After being with her all evening, the man couldn‘t take another minute with his blind date.

  和相亲对象呆了一晚上后,男人再也受不了了。

  Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.

  他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话,这样他就能借故先离开了。

  When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

  当他回到桌边,他垂下眼睛,装出一副阴沉的表情,说:“有个不幸的消息,我的祖父刚刚去世了。”

  "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn‘t, mine would have had to!"

  “谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说,“如果你的祖父不死,我的祖父就得死了!”


5、

Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."  
"But you‘re not wearing any of those things."   
"I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It‘s in case I should die before my husband. I‘m sure he‘d remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说:“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯,还有红宝石垂饰。”   
“但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。”
“我知道。”福林德斯夫人说,“万一我先我丈夫死去,我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯。” 


6、

Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.一个人得了重病,妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后,医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。

"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don‘t complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.“你丈夫病得很重,”医生说,“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一,一日三餐,要营养美味。第二,给他一个轻松的环境,不要抱怨。第三,每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”

On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"在驱车回家的路上,丈夫问道:“医生说了什么?”

"I‘m sorry, " she said, "but you‘re not going to make it.“很遗憾,“你活不成了。”

【注释】

 (1) gravely adv.特别严重地

(2) physician n.医生

(3) motion v.以动作或手示意

(4) ensure v.保证

(5) survival n.生存

(6) stress-free adj.没有压力的


7、

I was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise, put the bowl in a heating pad. Then I left the house on an errand(使命,差事) . When I came back, I found this note from my son: "Dear Mom, I hope your bread gets better."

我在做面包,需要把面团放在一个暖和点的地方使它发起来。我把面盆放在电热褥里,后来就出去干别的活去了。等我回家时,发现儿子留下一张纸条,上面写着:“亲爱的妈妈,我希望您的面包已经病好了。”


8、

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can‘t come to the phone right now. She‘s hitting the bottle."

一个妇人正在使劲打开番茄酱的瓶子。这时,电话铃响了,她叫四岁的女儿去接电话。小孩说:“妈妈现在不能接电话,她在砸瓶子。”


9、

The school of agriculture‘s dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.
"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.

农校的招生办主任在面试一个上线的学生,“你为何要选择这个职业?”他问。 “我梦想以经营农场来赚一百万元,就像我父亲一样。”这个学生回答说。 “你父亲经营农场赚了一百万元?”主任惊诧地问道。
“没有,”这位申请人回答道,“他总是梦想着赚到这个数目。” 


10、

Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?
Tommy: Quarters.
Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?
Tommy: Hamburger.

老师:如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半,我能得到几块儿?
汤米:四块。
老师:那我要是再切两次,我能得到什么呢?
汤米:汉堡。


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