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关于游戏的英语笑话带翻译

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:29评论:0


导读:
1、

A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. his friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - the dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.一位养狗人宣称:要是给了爱犬钱,它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示,并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了,仍不见它带报纸回来。

"how much did you give him?" asked the owner.一位养狗人宣称:要是给了爱犬钱,它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示,并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了,仍不见它带报纸回来。

"five dollars.“五元。”

"well, that explains it. when you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."这就是了。你给它五元钱时,它就去看电影。

【注释】

(1) claim v.声称

(2) when given money是 when he was given money 的省略

(3) news stall n.售报亭

(4) insist on 坚持

(5) demonstration n.演示

(6) trot off 小步跑开


2、

unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. 不速之客就在路上,我妈妈,一个完美的家庭主妇,正忙里忙外地整理。

she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom.她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。

later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly.一会儿之后,当她去检查的时候,她吃惊了,曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。

then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read "thank you for not looking in the bathtub."接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条,纸条上写着:“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”


3、

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.  "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that‘s him," came the reply.  The stranger couldn‘t help but be amused. "That certainly doesn‘t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"  "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店,看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着,“危险! 小心有狗!”  进去后,他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是,就是他”,店主回答。 听到这个回答, 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为,” 店主解释说,“在我帖告示之前, 大伙老被他绊倒。”


4、

All I do is pay

  "My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My
wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,
and my daughter is foreign secretary."
  "Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your
position?"
  "I’m the people. All I do is pay."

  我要做的一切就是付钱

  布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子
  是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。”
  “听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”
  “我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”


5、

Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道:“你们知道吗,自从夏天来临,我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰,我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”
另外一位说:“是啊,我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍,它们还是赶不走。”
第三个牧师说:“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼,让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”


6、

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn‘t do.
The mother exclaimed, But that‘s terrible! I‘m going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn‘t do?
The little girl replied, My homework.

一天,小女孩从学校回到家里,对妈妈说:妈妈,今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。
妈妈激动地说:那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈,对了,你没有做过的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答说:我的家庭作业。


7、

Many years after receiving my graduate degree,I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member.获取研究生学位多年以后,我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员.

One day in a crowded elevator,someone remarked on its inefficiency.一天,电梯里很拥挤,有人抱怨电梯效率太低.

I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.我说自我在那里当学生起,20年来电梯一直没有换过.

When the door finally opened,I felt a compassionate pat on my back,and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me.最后当电梯门打开时,我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下,回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑.

"You‘ll get that degree,dear," she whispered."Perseverance is a virtue."“你会拿到学位的,亲爱的,”她低声说道:“坚持不懈是一种美德.”


8、

A husband and wife,both 91,stood before a judge,asking for a divorce."I don‘t understand,"He said,"Why do you want a divorce at this time of life?"
the husband explained "Well , you see,We wanted to wait until the children died."

有一个丈夫和妻子都是91岁,他们站在法官面前,要求离婚。“我不明白,”法官说,“你们为什么到了这把年纪还要离婚?”
丈夫解释道:“嗯,你是知道的,我们以前是哟等到孩子们都死了。”


9、

Policeman: Why didn‘t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they‘d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察:有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?

男子:要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。


10、

For the Dog
  The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.
"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

  "Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

喂狗
  一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。
  ”先生,什么事?“服务生问。
  ”我儿子的盘子里剩下许多肉,“父亲说,”能给我们一个袋子吗?我把剩下的东西带回去喂狗。“
  ”啊呀,爸爸!“儿子激动地叫喊着。”咱家养狗了吗?“

NOTE
seat vt 使坐下
be seated 坐

call over
v.
点名, 顺序读出


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