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英语互动笑话

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:42评论:0


导读:
1、

One day, Tim‘s mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.
The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.
He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."

一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,发现他全做对了。
老师很高兴,同时也十分惊讶。
他把蒂姆叫到桌前说:"蒂姆,你这次的作业全都做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?"
"不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做。" 


2、

Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother‘s funeral, she stopped in to see you.

“你相信人死后仍有生命吗?”老板问他的一个员工。

“是的,先生。”这个新员工回答说。

“哦,那么,这样说来一切就很正常了,” 老板继续说,“在你今早离开,去参加你奶奶的葬礼,她来看你了。”
 


3、

There was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing(耕地) , and his horse immediately galloped(疾驰,飞奔) five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.

"That’s a pretty smart horse," the farmer’s friend later observed.

"Well, he’s not really so smart," the farmer said. "The doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!"

一位农夫在犁田时,不慎跌倒摔伤了屁股,他的马立即飞奔到五哩外最近的小镇,载了一位医生回来。一个朋友看到后便夸赞说:“你这匹马真是聪明!”

农夫说:“也没有你想的那么聪明啦!它带来的是一位兽医!”


4、

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You‘re a good boy," said the mother proudly.

"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

译文:

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。

“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”  


5、

Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?
Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it‘s about ninety-three million miles away.

律师:你说你离事故现场约有35英尺,你能看清多远的东西?
证人:这么说吧,早上起床后我看见太阳,别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。


6、

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.

我和一个朋友在快餐店排队订餐

There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."

那里很醒目地写着,不接受超过20美元的大钞(请自备零钱)。

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, 

我们前边的一个女士指着这个牌子对我们说:

"Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn‘t be eating here."

“上帝保佑,如果我身上有超过20美元的话,我一定不会在这儿吃饭!”


7、

The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn‘t you tell me this before ?"  
"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.

姑娘找到媒人,说:“你欺骗了我。他的一只眼是假眼,你以前为什么不告诉我?” “怎么没告诉你?”媒人也不甘示弱,“你们第一回见面后,我就说,他一眼就看中你了。”


8、

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."
我和一个朋友在快餐店排队订餐,那里很醒目地写着,不接受超过20美元的大钞(请自备零钱)。

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn‘t be eating here."
我们前边的一个女士指着这个牌子对我们说:“上帝保佑,如果我身上有超过20美元的话,我一定不会在这儿吃饭!”


9、

Traveler: Can I catch the three o‘clock train to Toronto?

Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.

旅行者:我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗?

售票员:那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。


10、

A man was at the doctor‘s office. "Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have a stabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?" he asked .一位男子来到医生的办公室。“医生,每次我喝咖啡,我的右眼都有刺痛感。您说我该怎么办?”他问道。

"Take the spoon out of your cup. " answered the doctor.“把勺子从咖啡杯里拿出来。”医生回答说。

【注释】

(1) stabbing adj.刺痛的

(2) spoon n.匙子


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