Things Have Been Okay
A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, Mom, the toast is burned.
You talked! You talked! Shouted his mother. I‘m so happy! But why has it taked this long?
Well, up till now, Said the boy, things have been okay.
A doctor came into the hospital ward and said to Mr. Johnson, "I have some good news and some bad news for you."
Then Mr. Johnson said, "Please, give me the good news first."
So the doctor said, "The doctors here are going to name an incurable disease after you."
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result." Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain‘s voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late." At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete‘s sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we‘ll be up here all night!"
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
An impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: "What kind is it? Does it have a stick shift? Does it have a tape deck?"
"It‘s a 1982 Toyota," he replied. "It‘s a four speed, and, yes, it has a tape deck . " Pleased, I asked what color it was.
"Well, " he said uncomfortably, " which part?"
On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him.
"Give the poor man a glass of brandy," advises a woman. "Give him a heart massage, " says someone else.
"No, just give him some brandy," insists the woman. "Call an ambulance," yells another person.
"A brandy!" The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. "Shut up, everybody, and do as the kind lady says!"
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
Professor: When is your birthday?
Kid: May 30.
Professor: Which year?
Kid: Every year.
8、Boxing and Running Dan is teaching his son how to box. 丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." 他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。” Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." 朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？” Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”
9、one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what‘s the meaning of the word ‘drunk‘, dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk." 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”"but, dad," the boy said, " there‘s only one policeman!" “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications（资格证书，职位要求） . Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
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