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一词多义英语笑话

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:29评论:0


导读:
1、

Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?
Tommy: Quarters.
Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?
Tommy: Hamburger.

老师:如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半,我能得到几块儿?
汤米:四块。
老师:那我要是再切两次,我能得到什么呢?
汤米:汉堡。


2、

Two attorneys went into a restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner marched over and told them, "You can‘t eat your own sandwiches here!"

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

两个律师走进一个餐厅,要了两杯饮料,从包中拿出三明治开始吃起来。餐厅老板走过来警告说,“你们不能在这里吃自己的三明治。”
  
两个律师对看了一眼,耸耸肩,然后交换了手中的三明治。


3、

On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him.

"Give the poor man a glass of brandy," advises a woman. "Give him a heart massage, " says someone else.

"No, just give him some brandy," insists the woman. "Call an ambulance," yells another person.

"A brandy!" The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. "Shut up, everybody, and do as the kind lady says!"

在一个炎热的夏天,一位上了年纪的男子昏倒在街头。一群人立刻围了上去。

“给这个可怜的人一杯白兰地吧。” 一位女士建议。

 “给他一点治心脏病的药。” 另外一个人说。
 
 “不,还是给他一些白兰地,”那位女士坚持说。

“还是叫一辆救护车吧。” 有人叫道。

“一杯白兰地。”
 
这时地上的那个人坐了起来,嚷着,“都闭嘴,就照那位好心的太太说得去做!”


4、

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach‘s hurting because it‘s empty. It‘ll be all right when you‘ve got something in it.
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
That‘s because it‘s empty, said his bright son. You‘d be all right if you had something in it.
一个男孩放学回家时,觉得肚子痛。来,坐下,吃点点心,妈妈说,你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。
一会儿,男孩的爸爸下班回家了,说是头痛。
你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的,他那聪明的儿子说,里面装点东西,就会好的。
 


5、

One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas,the greatFrench novelist,with his ancestry. “Why,” snarled the fellow,“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto,and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes,” roared Dumas,“and,if you wish to know‘mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact, my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”

有一天,一个人在嘲弄法国大小说家亚历山大·仲马,讥笑他的祖先。 那家伙厉声说:“唔,你是四分之一黑白混血儿,你父亲是黑白混血儿,而你的祖父是个黑人。” “是的,”仲马大声回敬:“还有呢,如果你想知道的话, 我的曾祖父是一只猴子。其实我的血统起始于你的血统终止的地方。”


6、

"Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady, "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind."
"You‘re absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins."

"啊,可怜的人,"善良的老妇人惊叹道。"脚瘸就够惨的了,要是眼瞎就更糟了。"
"你说的一点儿没错,"那乞丐说。他显然是乞讨老手。"我眼瞎的时候,人们老是给我外币。"
 


7、

The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, ‘Hello, Monsignor‘."  The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, ‘Hello, Your Excellency‘."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, ‘Hello, Your Eminence‘.   
" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, ‘Oh, my God‘!"

四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士,”第一位母亲自豪地说道,“他进入房间,人们都说,‘您好,阁下’。”
第二为母亲说:“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间,人们都称,‘您好,大人’。” “我的儿子是位红衣主教,”第三位母亲接着说,“他走进房间,人们都说,‘您好,尊敬的主教大人’。”
第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十,体重三百磅,”她说,“他要是走入房间,人们都说‘哦,我的上帝’!”
 


8、

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It‘s all right," said a gentleman, "don‘t be afraid. Don‘t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don‘t bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”


9、

A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?
Please, teacher, said a small boy, I‘ve made someone glad yesterday.
Well done. Who was that?
My granny.
Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.
Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I‘m going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I‘m glad’!

一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在,孩子们,她说:你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?
我,老师,一个小男孩说:昨天我就使别人高兴过。
做得好,是谁呢?
我奶奶。
好孩子,现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。
是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴!’


10、

One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, 
有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,

the son took the letter ,
儿子已经拿着信跑了

the father then remembered didn‘t write the address and addressee‘s name on the envelope.
父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。

After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?”

"Certainly"“当然”

"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”

"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”

"Then why you didn‘t take it back?"
“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”

"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee,“
我还以为你不写地址和收信人,

is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”


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