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英语小笑话带翻译简单

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:28评论:0


导读:
1、

A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. his friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - the dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.一位养狗人宣称:要是给了爱犬钱,它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示,并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了,仍不见它带报纸回来。

"how much did you give him?" asked the owner.一位养狗人宣称:要是给了爱犬钱,它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示,并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了,仍不见它带报纸回来。

"five dollars.“五元。”

"well, that explains it. when you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."这就是了。你给它五元钱时,它就去看电影。

【注释】

(1) claim v.声称

(2) when given money是 when he was given money 的省略

(3) news stall n.售报亭

(4) insist on 坚持

(5) demonstration n.演示

(6) trot off 小步跑开


2、

Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

两块蛋糕
汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!


3、

I‘ve Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I‘ve just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I‘ve just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”


4、

On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上,幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说,她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿,那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。


5、

Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I‘d passed today‘s exam.""Don‘t trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I‘ll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦,亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。


6、

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

在一个乡村路上,一警察让这个农民靠边停车,说:“先生,你意识到你的妻子在几公里前从车上掉下去了吗?”

农民回答说:“感谢上帝,我还以为我聋了呢!”


7、

Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?
Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.

母亲问她年幼的儿子:宝贝,今天老师教了你些什么?  
儿子骄傲地说:什么都没教,妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几,我告诉她等于三。


8、

Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.

麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说:“对不起,老师,今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”
“为什么它会让你迟到呢?”老师问道。
“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜,所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。


9、

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?"


10、

No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice." Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she‘s bound to like her."
So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like mother, And just as you said, mother liked her".
"So," asked the friend, "what happened?""Nothing," said the young man. " My father hates her!".

有个小伙子发现,无论他带什么女孩子回家,妈妈都不赞成。一位朋友建议他,“你找一个像你母亲一样的女孩吧——你母亲肯定会喜欢她的”。
这个小伙子就找啊找啊,终于找到了一个女孩。他告诉自己的朋友:“就像你说的,我找到了一个女孩,无论在感觉、说话、打扮,甚至烹饪手艺都很像母亲的,而且真的像你说的那样,妈妈很喜欢她。”
“那么,”他的朋友问到,“发生了什么事?”“没事,”小伙子说,我父亲很讨厌她!”


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