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作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:28评论:0


A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. his friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - the dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.一位养狗人宣称:要是给了爱犬钱,它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示,并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了,仍不见它带报纸回来。

"how much did you give him?" asked the owner.一位养狗人宣称:要是给了爱犬钱,它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示,并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了,仍不见它带报纸回来。

"five dollars.“五元。”

"well, that explains it. when you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."这就是了。你给它五元钱时,它就去看电影。


(1) claim v.声称

(2) when given money是 when he was given money 的省略

(3) news stall n.售报亭

(4) insist on 坚持

(5) demonstration n.演示

(6) trot off 小步跑开


Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!



I‘ve Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I‘ve just bitten my tongue! "
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I‘ve just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。


On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.



Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I‘d passed today‘s exam.""Don‘t trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I‘ll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.



On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"




Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?
Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.



Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.



One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?"


No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice." Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she‘s bound to like her."
So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like mother, And just as you said, mother liked her".
"So," asked the friend, "what happened?""Nothing," said the young man. " My father hates her!".



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