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初中英语阅读理解考题笑话

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:26评论:0


导读:
1、

An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:‘ How much this stuff?‘
‘Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.‘
The lady said, ‘It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.‘
‘I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.‘
‘It is still too much,‘ replied the old lady, ‘give it to me for five.‘

一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员:“这东西要多少钱?”
“七美元,太太,这是很便宜的。”
老太太说:“太贵了,十四美元差不多。”
店员忙说:“我没说十七美元,是七美元。”
“还是太贵,”老太太说:“五美元,我就买啦。”  


2、

As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that ‘Time is money‘?"
当出租车在遇到红灯急刹车时,我问司机:“你同意‘时间就是金钱’这种说法吗?”

"Well, it‘s a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.“
哦,这是一个普遍说法。在这个问题上,谁会在意那么多呢?”司机回答说。

"Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at the meter.“
看,在车已经停止的情况下,里程表上的数字还在跑。”我指着里程表说。

"Oh, yes. You‘ve got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.“
哦,是的。你说的挺有道理的。在这种情况下,时间对我们俩来说都是金钱。”司机补充说。


3、

What Color什么颜色
An impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: "What kind is it? Does it have a stick shift? Does it have a tape deck?"  
"It‘s a 1982 Toyota," he replied. "It‘s a four speed, and, yes, it has a tape deck . " Pleased, I asked what color it was.   
"Well, " he said uncomfortably, " which part?"

作为南卡罗莱那州克莱姆森大学的一个本科生,我囊中羞涩,当我父亲告诉我他为我买了辆车时,我甚是激动。我几乎控制不住我的热情,问了爸爸几个关键问题:“什么车?有没有手排挡?有没有磁带舱?”
“是1982年产丰田车,”他回答说,“四速,还有,是的,有磁带舱。”我甚是高兴,又问是什么颜色的。
“哦,”他很不舒服地说,“你指哪一部分?” 


4、

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.

"Dear," she chirped, "I think it‘s time to tell him he‘s adopted."

森林的深处,一只小乌龟正在往树上爬。几个小时后,它到达了顶端,然后跳了下去,挥舞着前腿,然后撞到了地上。恢复好了以后,它慢慢地再次开始爬树,跳下,然后跌到地上。小乌龟一次又一次地尝试,有两只小鸟坐在树枝上看着它这悲剧式的尝试。

终于,雌性小鸟转向她的伴侣。

“亲爱的,”她说,“我认为是时候告诉他他是领养来的了。”


5、

One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn‘t write the address and addressee‘s name on the envelope.  
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?" 
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."  
"Then why you didn‘t take it back?"   
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"

有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!” 


6、

The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled(被宠坏的) . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother‘s loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?
Cry? John asked. No, I didn‘t cry, but the teacher did!

六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点,可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭,就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了,他奶奶在门口接他并问道:学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?
哭?约翰问,不,我没哭,可老师哭了。


7、

My Boss and I When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don‘t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn‘t do it, he is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing. When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating. I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.

我做事情花了长时间,是效率低; 老板做事情花了长时间,是深思熟虑。 我没有做完事情,是懒惰; 老板没有做完事情,是太繁忙。 没有人告诉我的事情我做了,是自作聪明; 老板做了同样的事情,是首创。 我取悦老板,是献媚; 老板取悦他的老板,是合作。 我干得好,老板从来不会想起; 我干得不好,老板从来不会忘记。


8、

Stopping in an unfamiliar barber shop for a shave, a young playboy took a fancy to the manicure gril and suggested dinner and a show that evening.
the girl demurred," I don‘t think I ought to, I‘m married."
"Why don‘t you ask your husband," the playboy suggested." I‘m sure he wouldn‘t object."
"You can ask him yourself ," the girl srugged." He‘s shaving you."

一位年轻的花花公子在一家不熟悉的理发店里刮胡须,他很喜欢修指甲的女郎,于是提议哪天晚上去吃晚餐和看表演。
女郎犹豫着说:“我觉得我不应该去,我结过婚了。”
“你何不问问你先生,”花花公子建议说:“我确定他不会反对的。”
“你可以自己问他,”女郎耸耸肩道,“他正在替你刮胡须。”


9、

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:“如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?”
获奖的答案是:“最接近门口的那一幅。”


10、

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:“如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?”
获奖的答案是:“最接近门口的那一幅。”


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