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笑话英语对话

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:94评论:0


导读:
1、

One evening I drove my husband‘s car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.‘The woman who loves
you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.‘
My husband looked up and said, ‘Mom‘s here?‘
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物,回来后发现车身沾满灰尘,于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊:“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
我丈夫抬头看了看,说:“妈妈来了?”


2、我在德克萨斯A&M大学兽医药学系学习的时候,同学们经常把动物带到州监狱里去治疗……As students in the college of veterinary medicine at Texas A & M University, we frequently treated the farm animals at the state prison. While awkwardly performing a medical procedure on an unruly horse, a classmate said to the prisoner who was holding the animal, "Sorry I‘m taking so long." "No problem," the prisoner replied, "I‘m doing seven years.我在德克萨斯A&M大学兽医药学系学习的时候,同学们经常把动物带到州监狱里去治疗。有一次我们笨手笨脚的给一匹烈马做完检查,我同学对一直按着这匹马的犯人说:“真是不好意思,我用了这么长时间。”“没关系,”他回答说,“我已经作了七年这种事了。”这篇材料你能听出多少?点击这里做听写,提高外语水平>>
3、

Boy: Hi, didn‘t we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Must‘ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

男孩:嗨,我们之前是不是约会过,是一次还是两次,我忘记了。
女孩:应该只有一次吧,我从不犯两次同样的错误。


4、

It‘s not my fault
Mother (reprimanding训斥,谴责 her small daughter): You mustn‘t pull the cat‘s tail.
Daughter: I‘m only holding it, Mom. The cat‘s doing the pulling.

不是我的错
妈妈(正教训她的女儿):你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿:妈,我只是握着猫尾巴,它自己在拽。


5、

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I‘m going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter‘s wedding. He‘ll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I‘m the groom."

大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道,“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”,警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱,直到长官回来。“但是,警察,我……”。“我说过了保持安静,你要到监狱了。”几小时后,警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好,因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。”“你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。


6、

A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."

So the doctor said, "Don‘t worry, take this, and after you see the bill, you will have all these feelings."

病人跟医生说:“医生,请给我一些可以振奋、刺激、充满斗志的药。”

医生说:“别担心,这个拿去,看到这张帐单以后,你要的这些就都会有了。”


7、

At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn‘t bother people in the outer office.

After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal(疯狂的) screams, hysterical(歇斯底里的) laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager‘s secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again?

我在一家之声工作。经理把我叫进他的办公室,让我预试一下我们准备购买的一套新的音响效果设备。他关上门,以免打扰外面办公室的人。

听了几个常规的音响效果后,我们开始试听低声的呻吟,狂乱的尖叫,歇斯底里的大笑,哀求声和枪声。最后我开门出去,从经理秘书旁边经过时,她抬起头问道:又要求加薪了?


8、

Professor: Before we begin the examination are there any question?

Student: What‘s the name of this course?

教授:在开始考试之前,还有什么问题吗?

学生:考试科目的名称是什么?


9、

The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It‘s all right," said a gentleman, "don‘t be afraid. Don‘t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don‘t bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”


10、

We attended the wedding of an acquaintance‘s son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: "Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.

我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘,所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显,这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信,因为我们收到了一张卡片,上面写着:“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物,我们期待着不久就用到它。”


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