汇集爆笑幽默笑话大全、搞笑段子
当前位置:网站首页 > 英语笑话 > 正文

小明第一天学英语闹出的笑话

作者:高级段子手发布时间:2019年12月06日 12:19:19分类:英语笑话浏览:31评论:0


导读:
1、

Customer: Waiter, I‘ve only got one piece of meat in my dish.

Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I‘ll cut it in two.

顾客:服务员,我盘子里怎么只有一块肉?

服务员:先生,请稍候,我去把它切成两块。


2、

Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year - "62-63", "63-64", "64-65", etc.

One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn‘t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"

位于印第安那州瓦巴西的怀兹中学,其门厅里悬挂着过去四十年间样篮球队的照片。每幅照片前排中间的队员举着一个篮球,上面标明年份-“62-63”,“63-64”,“64-65”等等。

一天,我看到一个新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我转过身来,说道:“多奇怪呀,这些队都是以一分之差输掉的!"


3、

At the cleaner‘s, I noticed the sign "In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m. " so I told the owner that I wanted to pick my clothing up at five. "it won‘t be ready," he said.  
"But your sign says, ‘In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m.‘," I reminded him.   
"Oh," he replied, "that means me.

在洗衣店,我看到招牌上写着:“上午10点进,下午5点出。”因此我就告诉店主我想在下午5点取衣。“下午5点还不能取,”他说。 “但是你的牌子上写着:‘上午10点进,下午5点出’,”我提醒他说。
“哦,”他回答说,“那指的是我。” 


4、

a young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. 一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意,就租了一个漂亮的办公室。一天,他坐在办公室里,看到有一个人在外面

wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. he threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.于是他就装作生意很忙的样子,拿起电话胡吹乱侃,还不停的甩出几个大数字,好像在谈一笔大买卖。

finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "can i help you?" the man said, "sure. i‘ve come to install the phone."到了最后,他终于挂了电话,问来访的人,“有事儿嘛?”那个人回答,“我是来给你安装电话的。”


5、

One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, 
有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,

the son took the letter ,
儿子已经拿着信跑了

the father then remembered didn‘t write the address and addressee‘s name on the envelope.
父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。

After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?”

"Certainly"“当然”

"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”

"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”

"Then why you didn‘t take it back?"
“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”

"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee,“
我还以为你不写地址和收信人,

is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”


6、

Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don‘t think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don‘t think I know either, sir!"‘

老师:“John,动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。
约翰:“你想它是什么呢”?
老师:“我不用想,我知道!”。
约翰:“我想我不知道”。


7、

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I‘ll play it."

一男子去酒吧,点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时,发现一只猴子荡下来,在他阻止之前,偷走了啤酒。该男子问酒吧招待,这只猴子是谁的。服务员回答说是钢琴手的。男子走到钢琴手面前问:“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说:“没有,但是如果你能哼唱,我会为你演奏的。”


8、

 

Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, 

小强尼说:“妈妈,今天早上和爸爸在公车上时,

he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

他叫我让座给一位女士。”

"You‘ve done the right thing," says Mommy. 

妈妈说:“你做得很对呀。”

"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy‘s lap."

“但是,妈妈,我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”


9、

Is he dying?

A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I‘ll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

他就要死了吗?

一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说:刚才医生告诉我,在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。

他的朋友很轻松地指出,许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然,男人回答说:但是他只给了我十片。


10、

Traveler: Can I catch the three o‘clock train to Toronto?

Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.

旅行者:我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗?

售票员:那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。


标签:


笑话网汇集图片 最新 分享 白色 指向 和谐 校园 老师 举报 内容 推荐 老板 壁纸 生活 注册 原因 老婆 热门 广告 爸爸 短信 时间 上帝 朋友 发现 一位 开心 马桶 答案 职场 飞机 医生 吃饭 阅读 妈妈 儿子 动态 速度 发生 男女 家里 学生 世界上 语录 回家 公司 司机 精选 冷笑话精选 战胜 资源 小明 价格 喜欢 糗事 感受 小姐 蟑螂 人类 生气 站起来 东西 上司 狮子 说道 年轻 学习 一只 英语 趣事 一圈 飞行 富翁 问道 这位 爆冷 桌面 担心 不行 幽默 搞笑 爆笑 大全 经典 笑点 夫妻 女人 女孩 孩子 脑筋急转弯 妻子 好笑 句子 吐槽 恐怖